


As You Are

by the_widow_twankey



Series: Kay's Martin & Lewis Works [13]
Category: American (US) Actor RPF, Martin & Lewis, US Comedians RPF
Genre: Insecurity, Jealousy, M/M, Pre First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-10
Updated: 2019-09-10
Packaged: 2020-10-14 02:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20593520
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_widow_twankey/pseuds/the_widow_twankey
Summary: Jerry's never been good with jealousy or his own perceived flaws.





	As You Are

“Do you think it’ll hurt.”

“Not if you do it right.”

Those words circled Jerry’s brain ever since he heard them whispered breathlessly against his ear as he and Dean indulged in some impromptu hotel room necking. They wouldn’t let him go.

Dean’s done it before.

That information shouldn’t be so cutting, but it is. There have been others. Most likely stunning others. Dean’s female flings were gorgeous, why would men be any different? They were probably beautiful men who were graceful. They knew what they were doing and how to do it. Not some gangly, Jewish kid trying to do a follow-up act.

When they started this thing, Jer assumed that they were on the same playing field. All Jerry’s had is a curious fumble in a closet with a school mate when he was a teenager. Hence the phrasing of his question. _Do you think_ not _will it_. But, looking back, Jerry saw what a fool he had been. Dean looked like _that_. There was no way he would just have fumbles in a closet. He could wink and get more than enough experience.

Now, every time Dean talked to a remotely attractive guy he could feel his body thrum with fear. Was he more attentive than usual? Did that guy just grin in his direction? Did Dean’s voice pitch lower? But even through his haze of paranoia he never saw Dean go off with another man. Only a girl here and there like always. This fact actually has served to calm him a bit.

For a moment.

They had just finished an amazing set and were high on the applause. Jerry could taste imminent success on the tip of his tongue. He wanted nothing more than to retire to the hotel for a good nap in his partner’s arms, but it’d be rude leave before adoring the crowd that adored you. In all the commotion he heard someone yell Dean's name from across the room. Dean gave a casual glance over his partner’s shoulder and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Luca?”

“Dino!”

Dean got up surprisingly fast and greeted a man who looked about Dean’s age if a bit younger. The panic returned.

Dean was appraising the newcomer _Luca_ like he’d do any woman. When you’ve been around a guy you knew how he looked when he was_ lookin'_. And he surely was now. Luca was gorgeous. The usual untamed curls of most Italians, sharp cheekbones and a crooked smile that lit up a room. He felt himself mentally shrink

“Hey, Jerry!”

Jer was pulled out of his mini-crisis. Dean had been calling his name, but he had no idea how long and Dean didn't seem to notice. He had his eyes on Luca and an arm around his shoulders that was too familiar.

“This son of a gun is Luca, I used to tackle the shit outta him. Luca this is my partner, Jer.”

Jerry shook his hand on reflex, he didn’t even feel the weight his palm.

“Sit down, have a drink.”

Luca pulled up a chair while Dean ordered him a drink, the fact that Dean knew what he wanted without asking churned his stomach.

They wasted no time diving into a conversation, every so often Dean would try to include Jerry only for his partner to give a half-hearted effort. He and Luca would often lapse into Italian. Sometimes, Dean would notice and switch back to English, but once the conversation flowed again it would go back. They talked until the club had only a couple of stragglers and Luca called it quits and left, though not before asking Dean to keep in touch. Jerry could have left early, he _wanted_ to leave early, but there was no way he was leaving the pair alone. They returned to the hotel without incident. 

But Jerry put as much space between them as possible.

He wasn’t any better over the coming days. Bristling and guarded. But, he thought he hid it well. 

“Do we need to take things slower, kid?” Dean jerked his cigarette from his mouth. “I mean, three days ago you couldn’t _wait_ to get your hands on my cock, now, you stiffen up anytime you get near me.”

Jerry didn’t even look up from the drawer he was looking through, his face a picture of nonchalance, but hands and voice frantic and fumbling.

“Well I’d still _love_ to but I stubbed my pinky on a door today, so maybe we can reschedule and wow isn’t it late, we should go to bed.”

“It’s 10:15, Jer.”

“We got an early morning.”

Dean fixed him with a fed-up stare.

“We need to talk.”

“My tongue’s all tired, bubby.”

Dean patted the couch space next to him 

“Sit.”

Jerry slammed the drawer and sat as far away as he could.

“That ain’t how things work here.”

He didn’t budge. So Dean approached himself, slowly, just in case he truly wasn’t wanted. Once he was close he put his finger under the other man’s chin and turned his face. 

“S’just me, you know.”

“That's the problem.”

“And what's that supposed to mean?”

“Just you is_ a lot_. More than I can handle, probably.”

“That’s where I think you’re wrong, but if you don’t wanna, we don’t gotta.”

Dean goes to move away, but Jerry stops him by putting a hand on his leg.

“I just...don't want you to be disappointed.”

“Not possible.”

“Well, I'm not one of your experienced dream boys like Luca so I beg to differ.”

“Now, how did you know about Luca.”

“I know how you look when you’re _lookin_' Dean, you used to look at me like that.”

“Used to? Let's get some things straight. Was I lookin’ at him? Yeah, like I still look at a fine lookin’ broad. Did I look at him like that when we were kids? Yes again. Have we done anything? No, he don’t got a clue about me and I plan to keep it that way.”

Jerry went to speak again, but Dean cut him off.

“And yeah, I’ve had experiences that _weren’t_ Luca, but that don’t mean they were dreams.”

“You're not just saying that to make me feel better?” Jerry could feel himself pouting and hated it but couldn’t stop, “‘Cause I ain't no baby I can take the truth.”

“Look if you don’t wanna, I’ll back off, you run this show. But if all you’re worried about is those other times, I can already tell ya you don’t have anything to be nervous about,” he grinned, “besides who else would try to make me laugh while I'm balls deep?”

“I hate you, you greasy beast,” Jerry crashed into him and hid his face in his shoulder, “but do ya really mean it?”

“About the others?” he chuckled.”I don't even remember their names.”

“So, will you forget mine one day?”

Dean took his hand in his own and pressed a kiss to the knuckles.

“Not a chance.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'VE FINALLY WRITTEN SOMETHING AGAIN.  
Blame capitalism for my lack of output.


End file.
